I miss YOU. Your WHOLE self! I miss the way you used to care. I miss the way you used to want to be a fence around all that made me hurt. I miss the way you used to LISTEN, for hours on end.
What happened? What happened to the way it used to be? I guess it was ONLY a fantasy the WHOLE time. Maybe I was bamboozled, and hoodwinked. You know love does that to you sometimes. Maybe I’m just a fool. I wish it could go back to the way it used to be when there were no EXPECTATIONS of who I should be. When there was NO JUDGEMENT of who I HAVE BECOME and who I WAS. When there were no ASSUMPTIONS about what I may or may not say. When YOU and I were NOT DISTRACTED by so many things. When OUR minds were free to be who we are. When all you wanted was ME. My ENTIRE self, flaws and all. But I guess that day and time has come and gone.
But where does that leave ME. LOST. VOID. SAD. CRYING. TIRED. STRESSED. AND UPSET. A need to RETREAT to who I should know best BUT I don’t. Why? Because I’ve BEEN distracted by YOU. TRYING to LEARN your WHOLE being, MIND, BODY, & SOUL. Whatever it TAKES. Whatever it TOOK. Only to be SHAKEN by the fact that it was ME who needed to CHANGE. ME. ME who NEEDED to SEARCH AND SEEK… WHO? GOD!
~ LDE
