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Expecting to be Disrespected…Hmm…

For many years now, I have wondered why there is this focus on respect.  Everyone has an issue with someone else RESPECTING them.  It baffles me that after someone has so-called disrespected them, then anyone else who even remotely disagrees, it becomes a form of disrespect.  If you don’t agree – disrespect.  If you question – disrespect.  If you correct them – it’s a disrespectful thing.  You may be the person in the conversation who is trying to stay calm and trying to make sure that things don’t escalate but no matter what you say, it is some form of disrespect.  So where does this deep seated feeling of disrespect come from?  Did it happen upon that very conversation that very day or is it just like a cold – it catches you when it can and then you just have it.  I’m not sure but what I do know if that in my experiences, the person that felt disrespected got it TOTALLY WRONG. My questioning your motives or expectations is not a form of disrespect, it is simply a question.  If you allow someone to peer into your mind one day, then maybe you could begin to understand where they are coming from.  The world has gotten so sensitive.  What happened to good old debate?  You see the thing is, you can not take away my feelings and I definitely can not take away yours.  But at some point, we have to come to a happy medium.  And if we can’t, I don’t know where THIS particular conversation may take us.  When I preached today about “Putting on (YOUR) My Coat” that wasn’t literal but I see that it may have been for you.  I do understand that my assignment is not one that you may understand.  But honestly, it is not a threat to you.  It is not a threat to your well-being nor it is a threat to your person.  I promise you that I am trying to figure out this respect thing but there are plenty of times when I feel disrespected but I also understand that people get emotional and upset and sometimes say things that they don’t really want to say.  You know I take that back because in many cases when people feel disrespected, they intentional say things to hurt and harm others.  My intention in any conversation is to first understand and then be understood.  But that does not seem to work well for me.  I tend to be the one who is told, “gone about YOUR business” or “stop fucking talking to me.”  It stings in the moment but if I am trying to understand, I hope that you didn’t mean it.  If you did, I would prefer the truth.  I would prefer you try to understand first and then seek to be understood as well but I am fully aware that we are two different people totally.  I often wonder, are we too different?  Do we even have the same goals in mind?  Do you even love the ME that I am becoming?  It’s a strange feeling to not be respected by the person whom you claim to LOVE so much.  But I do know that it is possible that LOVE comes in all shapes, sizes and packages.  Well LOVE, if this is what you are dishing out, I do not know if I want it.  So the next time you tell me to “gone about my business,” I will as I put my coat on and leave.  I may not even say much but my actions will speak volumes.  I believe respect means “a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements.”  I admire you.  I admire your amazing qualities and commitment.  I admire your mind and your beauty.  It is a deep feeling that no one can change not even you.  So as Aretha sang, “R.E.S.P.E.C.T.” truly find out what it means to me before you begin to say that I am disrespecting YOU and YOUR being.  Believe you me, the GENUINE in ME sees the GENUINE in YOU!!! And genuinely speaking, YOU are amazing!  So no disrespect here at all.

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